*tap tap tap* Is this thing on? EXCUSE ME, SLEEP DEPRIVED PARENT! SLEEP DEPRIVED PARENT! HELLO??? STEP AWAY FROM THE SEARCH ENGINE… I REPEAT … STEP AWAY FROM THE SEARCH ENGINE, AND GO BACK TO BED! It’s so tempting, isn’t it? The second we see some dry scaly spots on our baby’s forehead, or little miss isn’t acting the way she usually does, we jump right on yahoo or google and type in the key phrases that will yield us our instant response. Answers will range from “It’s simple baby acne…” to “It could just be lymph node but my friend’s sister’s baby ended up having a tumor.” Well, there goes tonight’s chance of sleep… One situation that seems to repeat itself with parents is the incessant googling. It’s unavoidable, and hey, our babies are precious…we don’t blame you at all! However, we have started to see the pattern that often this little extracurricular activity can do more harm than good, and can even at times become addicting! Today we want to discuss the BEST alternatives to google or yahoo when it comes to your baby. 1. Your Doula Your postpartum doulas are trained to know all of the latest research and safety guidelines about raising babies. They also are trained to recognize normal situations versus abnormal situations in both you and your baby. If you are ever in doubt, and are worried that maybe asking someone else may be a little uncomfortable, ask your nonjudgmental, professional doula! If we can’t give a definite answer, we can at least give a great referral for a provider that may be able to help, and a side of support and encouragement! 2. Your Family and Friends Sometimes, it feels good to go to someone we are comfortable with. Maybe this person is experienced and inspirational –what you strive to be as a parent! Ask your questions to them and get that warm, well known support. Our only caveat is to be sure the person isn’t someone who may make you even more uneasy, as some people in this circle can do! 3. Your Provider Here’s our bottom line. Your provider will always be the most reliable source. If you are truly concerned and worried about your child’s well being, a call to the doctor is the best way to go. If you are feeling extremely nervous about a particular issue, we suggest this option, as it decreases the chain of people you will have to talk to and gets you right to the source. Get that number up on your fridge and wash those worries away! In the early postpartum days, sometimes we just want simple, and often google seems to be that way. For some parents, this option works great. However, if using search engines is causing more harm than good, find a good circle of support to have on speed dial (or text!) …we know those thoughts love to creep in during the 3am feedings! It is important to remember that anyone can put anything on the internet, and that your individual journey is what is most worthy of assessment!
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Is your baby a Xerox image of what the baby books predict they will be if you try their methods word for word? Or do you have a little rebel on your hands? Today, we want to bring hope that NO baby is a Xerox of anything and all babies are different. While some books may work for your baby, we want to urge you to not get to discouraged if the same methods don’t work that worked for your best friend’s baby. Just to show the silliness of how much pressure we put on ourselves as parents, today we have changed the words to one of Britney Spears’s greatest hit songs “Lucky.” Feel free to put on your karaoke and sing along with us!
*dramatic chords ensue* This is a story about a baby named Xerox… Early morning, they’re asleep Knock, knock, knock on the door And no one wakes up, peace and quiet It’s 10am they’re waiting for And Folks say Aren’t they lucky That textbook family And they say, She’s so lucky She just smiles, while our kids cry cry cry And it breaks our hearts Thinking, Dr. Karp has Five darn techniques and Why is my kid up all night Lost in an image, it just seems That she rarely wants to be picked up And the world is spinning and she keeps on grinning But tell me, what happens when she stops? She won’t. Aren’t they lucky That textbook family And they say, She’s so lucky She just smiles, while our kids cry cry cry And it breaks our hearts Thinking, those darn baby books Went and they lied and Why is my kid up all night Aren’t they lucky That textbook family They read the baby books, and they really worked, So why is ours up at night? And they say, She’s so lucky She just smiles, while our kids cry cry cry And it breaks our hearts Thinking, those darn baby books Went and they lied and Why is my kid up all night I’ll never forget when I was past my due date with my second baby, walking through the aisles of target and buying all the discounted Easter candy. When I got to the checkout, the cashier made typical conversation asking how far along I was. When I answered I was 41 weeks, she instantly responded “Did you know that sex can help get the baby out?” I was instantly appalled and shocked a stranger would ask me this.
Whether you’re a day late or a week late, being “overdue” can be hard. People are constantly calling and asking when the baby will make an appearance as if we are psychics, and you are obsessing over every twinge and cramp, wondering if it’s time. It can be hard to take your mind off of baby’s impending arrival, but today we are giving you a list of twenty things you can do to try. After all, once the baby comes, many of these things may not be as easy to do! Give it a look and see if anything might be fun for you!
It is an exciting, but terrifying time for the Big Island of Hawaii as Kilauea, a shield volcano on the island, is currently erupting. While this situation is far from upstate New York, emotions range from seeing the awe-striking beauty of the lava flowing, to the catastrophic damage to peoples’ houses and personal belongings. Many questions arise. Some may ask “Why would people even build their houses on a volcano?” Others may say “Building a house on a volcano is perfectly safe. The chance of a house being wiped out by lava is so rare.” But, that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. That doesn’t mean that the people whose houses are being wiped out did anything differently or less correct than the house a hundred feet away from them, which is standing perfectly safe. We don’t berate the people whose houses were destroyed. We are thankful for the scientists who were able to see this coming and evacuate people to safety. It’s the same in the birth world. Society is on a nature-kick these days. It is insistent on putting everything into a natural box, assuring that nature will take its course and shaming away anything man-made that may intervene in a natural process. Many people have formulated opinions about birth, quite similar to the volcano. Some are scared for it, while some are excited and can see beauty in it. No feeling is invalid, it is just a matter of perspective based on our different paths. You may see one family plan for an intervention-free birth and have everything go as planned, where another family may end up needing intervention. Is this because one family trusted birth more? Is this because the family with the intervention did something wrong? No! It’s nature. Nature doesn’t make plans. If we use the volcano analogy, these two separate birthing families could have lived right next to each other on the volcano. One was hit by lava and one was not. Thankfully, this is birth we are talking about, not a volcano. When “lava” flows in our direction, we can use interventions that keep us safe. What is our biggest takeaway? We want families to make decisions as they choose. Natural can be great for some, but harmful to others. We need to be mindful of this when making recommendations to our friends. In fact, as doulas, we often see that a client’s INSTINCT is key. We want to be there to support and nurture that instinct, whether your choices are made by nature or not. The beauty of pregnancy and birth, but also the scary part, like volcanoes, is that it can change from minute to minute. No one can truly predict the path of the “lava.” Natural can be beautiful, but it isn’t always safe. The best thing we can do in this day and age, is to support all decisions, and in the case where they don’t go according to plan, accept that this too is a turn of nature. Here at New York Baby Co. we want to assure you that no matter what turn the lava takes, we are there to support you, whether you built your house on the volcano or not. We always trust in the choices of our clients, and validate any emotion they may feel. Today on the blog, we want to uplift you. The journey to becoming a parent, as well as the parenting journey can be hard. Every feeling, at any given stage of this process is completely valid. However, sometimes we can forget that, as many times we are so isolated in the time when we need validation the most.
This is why, today we invite you to sit back with us. No need to think, just read. Here are ten affirmations to help you get through your day. Take what you love, write it on a post-it and put it on a mirror to find some inner strength if it helps you!
So there you have it! These are our hand crafted modern affirmations, and we hope you find one that resonates with you today. In this modern world, with research and opinions at our fingertips every minute of the day, it can often be hard to be gentle with ourselves. Today, we are here to tell you that it is entirely ok. “The truth will set you free. But first it will piss you off.” – Gloria Steinem
Okay, so we aren’t here to piss anyone off today, but we do want to unleash the TRUTH of self care and set you free. When we think self care, we think bubble baths, women in their 20s-30s, the newest trend of shared blogs, spa days. This can be self care, self care DOES apply to everyone, no matter who you are. We especially believe it is important for parents of all stages, in order to raise children to be strong, self sufficient people who also believe they’re deserving of self care. It seems though, that we really don’t understand what self care is in society. Sure, bubble baths and spa days can be great, but when people resort to those strategies for self care, they often start to feel as it is an indulgent thing that can only be taken advantage of sometimes. The TRUTH? Self care is common sense. Self care is for everyone. Self care can happen every day. It’s all about how much of a priority it is in our lives, and here at NY Baby Co. we believe it should always be a big one! So how do you figure out what YOU need? How do you take care of yourself without in turn stressing yourself out about when you can fit a bubble bath into your day? We are so glad you asked! It’s one simple question. “What will bring me joy today?” That’s right! Self care doesn’t need a box. Self care can be different thing for different people. Here are some common ones we see among our clients:
But really, self care can be ANYTHING! It is anything that makes you happy or fills your cup. Yes, it can often be hard to set aside time, but when the time is set aside, we are recharged and refreshed for whatever the day (and probably night) has to bring us! What about you? What are your favorite self care tactics? Much like doctors and therapists, doulas have a scope of practice that needs to be respected in order to keep all clients safe and happy. Unfortunately, the doula field isn’t quite regulated yet to find out if a doula is acting as a professional or not. This causes much of the population to be confused about what a doula actually does, and often gets us confused with midwives. When doulas don’t act in scope, it can be dangerous for all parties involved. A doula acting in scope always has a great list of referrals for things that are not quite within our reach, and we at the NY Baby Co. are always happy to give that to you! But how would you know if a doula is acting in scope or not? Today, we want to give you a straightforward look at exactly what is in scope and out of scope for a doula. A doula acting in scope always…
A doula acting out of scope will…
We highly encourage all who are looking into hiring a doula to check and double check to make sure the doula they are hiring is a professional acting in scope, as all families deserve the BEST, and we want you to have the tools to get there. We assure you that NY Baby Co. is solely comprised of nonjudgmental, professional doulas who always act in scope. Give us a call today at 518-712-9767 to find out more information or set up a consultation! What is it that makes us so ravenous post baby? Maybe it’s the extra calories we need for breastfeeding. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation lowering our energy and causing us to crave carbs. Maybe it’s that caring for a baby doesn’t leave us much time to sit down and we often wait until we are starving to eat! No matter what the reason, we can all admit that caring for a baby is exhausting! Today on the blog, we have compiled a list of quick grab and go snacks you can keep in the fridge while caring for baby to get you the macros you need to get yourself through the day!
Does it still feel impossible to have snacks on the go? Do you feel a little like you’re drowning as far as staying on top of your own self nourishment? Give us a call at 518-712-9767 so we can talk about scheduling a shift where a postpartum doula can custom prep your snacks just for you! Oftentimes, when talking about labor we recognize the norm of a long labor. But we don’t always realize that there is another situation in which a baby comes quickly. This instance is known as precipitous birth. Precipitous birth is defined as the birth of a baby within three to five hours (or less) from the start of contractions. While this may sound like a dream birth to some, it can often be quite terrifying, as contractions are usually more intense and efficient and many parents do not make it to the hospital in time. It is also a difficult time for processing, as parents often can’t make sense of what happened and go into a state of shock, prolonging recovery and affecting emotional well being. This also calls into question whether or not your doula may make it to you. While it doesn’t happen often, sometimes we do not make it in time for a precipitous birth, as we do require a two-hour window to get to the client from the time we are called to their birth. What happens if my doula doesn’t make it? If your doula does not arrive to you in time for the birth of your baby, it can be unsettling, but rest assured there is still a lot we can do for you. Here are a few:
While there isn’t really anything a doula can do to lessen the possibility of this outcome, it is best to let your doula know if you have experienced precipitous birth in the past, so that we can prepare for the possibility. This is also why we encourage communication with us anytime there is a development or change, so we can talk about what time would be best to come and support you. The bottom line is, with precipitous birth, unpredictability can often take over, but no matter how it turns out, we are here to support you and process with you however you need. A day in the life of a postpartum doula… We are often lumped in with nannies or cleaning services, but the support we give extends far beyond that, as does our training. We support families during the first year, and even sometimes more than that! It all depends on each family’s individual needs. Our day starts as soon as we walk into your house. YOU are our first priority. What are the immediate needs? Have you had breakfast? Do you need to rest? Are you feeding your baby okay, or do you need some gentle assistance and guidance? Oftentimes, clients greet us with a list of things they want us to take care of, as soon as we walk in the door, and we gladly check everything off! But the bottom line is, postpartum support never has a wrong appearance…we are there to support the needs of our clients, and these needs change minute to minute. As we tackle items on the list, they may include light meal prep, doing dishes, storing breast milk, organizing toys, doing laundry or even running errands. Oftentimes while doing things around the house we are followed by curious older siblings, who are looking for someone to talk to them and pay attention to them, and this is one of the parts of our job we love to do! Sometimes, we may feed baby or put baby to sleep. Many parents want us only to tend to baby as their main goal is rest. Sometimes, we even wear baby (with gear provided by the clients) while accomplishing chores on the list. We are the ultimate multitaskers. We also make it a goal to sit talk with the parents while we are in the home. We find out how postpartum life is going, and gauge if there may be anything going on in the house that could benefit from resources or referrals. There are many experts in the area we network with if a situation is out of our scope of practice. However, a huge part of having a newborn can often be isolation, so sometimes our job is simply keeping parents company. Often times this can include talking about birth stories, validating a decision a parent is unsure about or knowing when a recovery related issue may need to be assessed by a care provider. In addition to daytime shifts, postpartum doulas are commonly being hired for night shifts. While chores don’t usually get done during this time, it can be helpful to give parents a full night’s rest without worrying. Babies are able to be cared for in the manner that the parents wish, and we are trained to tend to all philosophies. Oftentimes, we come in to get babies on a schedule, but we are also trained to soothe babies back to sleep and work with their unique schedules. In the instance of breastfeeding moms who don’t wish to pump, we can even bring baby in to nurse, and then leave the room, saving mom the added stress of putting baby back to sleep after the feeding. If timing allows, we may even be able to prepare coffee or breakfast in the morning before we slip out the door! Does this sound like a dream in the making? Call the NY Baby Co. at 518-712-9767 today to request more information or request a consultation for postpartum care. |