Do doulas affect birth outcomes?

Our short answer is NO, but hear us out!

For years, newspapers and blogs have broadcasted that hiring a doula can make you less likely to require pain medication, lower your chance of a cesarean birth and lower your risk of postpartum depression. We don’t want to negate anyone’s experiences, but we want to make it clear that doulas do not have anything to do with outcomes.

While it is our goal to support our clients while helping them to the birth they want, we do recognize that there are road bumps that can derail this from happening, and our main goal is to make sure that our client is aware of the process, supported and as comfortable as possible.

There are so many factors

The truth is, one human being, even with sufficient training, cannot affect a birth outcome. Perhaps the support we provided did help a client hang on a little longer before getting pain medication, and it is highly possible that our presence may have lessened the stress of being a postpartum parent, and prevented a client from feeling depressed. However, a doula is not a guarantee to make sure these things don’t happen, and even if these things do happen, we are trained and have a huge desire to support our clients!

In fact, sometimes our clients want these things to happen. Many of our clients go into their births knowing that they want pain medication or have planned a cesarean. We don’t affect outcomes here, because we support ALL of our clients’ choices without question. Our clients will always have the last word and the final decision, along with their provider when it comes to their birth.

Sometimes special situations, variations of normal and risk factors arise that make certain outcomes not possible. We aren’t trained to change that outcome…no one can! We are however trained to support every family through whatever turns their birthing and postpartum periods may take.

We specialize in ALL outcomes

Much like we can’t control the weather, we can’t control the road bumps that arise in the birth and postpartum period…every experience is different! We are trained to understand that and work with any outcome!

The NY Baby Co. does not keep track of our clients’ birth outcomes. This is because support is our main goal and we believe that every client’s birth outcome is worthy of support. No matter what outcome a client finds themselves in, we will always be ready to hear, attune and validate. We will always stand behind the fact that we give 100% to all of our clients, regardless of outcome.
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Are you finding it difficult to get your needs met as a parent? You are absolutely not alone! This is a common part of parenting, and especially for those who are not so willing to admit they need help in a society where do-it- yourself is still in (Why is that, anyway?) it can be a hard thing to put into words exactly what you need when someone asks you if you need help.

“Just let me know if I can help with anything.”

When our friends offer this phrase, we should absolutely accept their offer! Sometimes, people don’t know exactly how to help, and are looking for any way. Verbalizing our needs can be helpful to make sure people are truly helping us in the way we need. While it can be hard, as their offer is such a blanket statement, we highly encourage you to accept! Today, we have compiled a list of things to ask for help with, so you don’t have to think about it.

• Dishes/General housecleaning
• Laundry, especially folding!
• Holding baby while everyone else rests, or so the parents can eat with both hands!
• Tending to older siblings
• Running errands
• Mowing the lawn, managing outside space
• Meal Prep, Snack Prep
• Bringing coffee or another favorite beverage
• Company keeping…parenting can be lonely!
  
  

While it is blatantly obvious that any parent could do any of these things themselves, we can’t deny how exhausting it is! Sometimes it’s good to just add an extra hand and relax. Recharging will make us better able to face the day and all of the challenging tasks of parenting. Even if we are feeling great one day, the next day could be unpredictably harder. Our biggest takeaways for our readers: don’t wait until you’re burnt out to ask for help! You are worthy of help even when things feel manageable.

Of course, this is just our list, and if there’s anything else that you think to add, by all means, do it! And when your postpartum doula is over for a shift, rest assured that they will find plenty to add without you even having to say a word, thanks to good old attunement.


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Ugh…we said it! The dirty M word. The thing no mother ever wants to experience.

Reality check? Mastitis does happen to breastfeeding moms, and is most common during the first month of breastfeeding, but can happen at any time during the breastfeeding journey. The two main causes of mastitis are clogged ducts and bacteria entering the breast due to cracks and cuts.

What are the Symptoms of Mastitis?

• Weakness, Fatigue, Overall feeling run down
• Fever and chills
• Pain and redness in the breast
• Breast is warm to touch

It is typical that the flu-like symptoms will come on first, and then the actual breast symptoms will follow. However, mastitis makes it very difficult to care for a baby, so it is best to call your provider, as antibiotics are often necessary. There are many antibiotics that will be safe to take while breastfeeding, and there is no need to stop breastfeeding during mastitis, as it actually will help in your recovery. Eating more cultured yogurt or drinking kombucha while on the antibiotics will be a great way to prevent thrush, a yeast infection of the nipple or breast.

Ways to Prevent Mastitis

• Always fully drain the breast while breastfeeding
• Make sure baby’s latch is correct to prevent cuts where bacteria can enter
• Change positions you breastfeed for each feeding
• Address clogged ducts as soon as they appear

Upon recovery from mastitis, you may notice that baby is fussier at the breast. This can be due to antibiotics, but can also be because milk supply can lower at first, as the infection is healing and clogs are opening back up again. Continued nursing should allow this to be overcome in no time. If there are any further concerns, a call to your provider or an IBCLC is suggested.

​A day in the life of a labor doula…it’s so far beyond hip squeezes and water fetching!

It’s not always a day. Sometimes it’s a night. Sometimes it’s our anniversary, or a child’s birthday. We have to say no to faraway trips, or drinks with friends. We never know when we are going to get that call, but we are always prepared for it.

Then, that day comes…and it’s not always a day. Sometimes it’s midnight, thirty minutes after we fell asleep for the night, when a client decides they need us sooner than they thought. Regardless, we are prepared. We grab our packed bag and grab five dollars for Starbucks…the little things fuel us during a long process!

We get into our car and feel thankful the big snow storm held off. We rejoice finding a parking spot, and pace ourselves as we walk into the hospital ready to go, regardless of what was going on in our lives. The pause button is hit on our family as we prepare to support yours, and we wouldn’t have it any other way as you deserve our complete energy and commitment.

We don’t know what we are going to find behind the door of that labor and delivery room, but we are prepared. Sometimes, parents appear calm and ready. Sometimes, we are walking into a situation that was not ideal for the client. Sometimes, we walk into chaos. We attune and adjust, with our hands and our hearts.

Sometimes the work is easy and flawless. Sometimes it is difficult. Every birth is different and support looks different for everyone. Sometimes, it’s being the presence to tell a father he can go to the cafeteria and recharge with food and rest. Sometimes, it’s just sitting in the room and holding space while a client gets rest after a long awaited epidural. Sometimes, we are face to face with a client who swears they can’t do this, encouraging them that they are doing it and they will do it. Sometimes, we are sitting with a client whose birth plan has become completely derailed, supporting them and talking to them as they cry for their baby, who is in the NICU, knowing that while we can’t bring their baby, we can stay with them so they aren’t alone.

When it is mutually decided that the family has settled in after the birth and is ready to bond alone, we leave the hospital. We have seen huge things, we have witnessed life, and supported all the people involved. We take the situation, put it in our bag along with everything else, and walk out into our car. Slowly, the things we need to do with our family come flooding back, but first, we look at our needs. Sometimes we have only spent two hours at the hospital, but sometimes we have spent twenty-four.

We may stop at our favorite sushi place on the way home, as a well deserved treat. We walk in the door to our two energetic children who have been waiting for us to come home, so excited to play with us and show us their new game. We sit down with them for a good twenty minutes, and then our partner turns to us and urges us to go eat and rest. It’s then in our room that we process. We may call a fellow doula to rejoice, cry on a partner’s shoulder or just take some deep breaths as we add another job well done to our journey of supporting clients, and prepare to receive the next call…

Today on the blog, we are indulging in the celebrity world as we take an imaginary babymoon over to the United Kingdom and visit the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton. Kate has earned a lot of media attention from the very start, but has also been a fabulous role model for her family, keeping their lives as normal as possible throughout all the hype, and we can all respect her for that!

Kate recently gave birth to her third child, a boy named Louis, on the 26 th of April. As usual she met us on the front steps of the Lindo wing to dazzle and charm us. A lot of jaws dropped and criticisms spewed as the duchess stood in high heels and perfect hair and makeup only seven hours after giving birth. While this isn’t completely realistic, as not all of us have our own hair and makeup crew, the duchess has been a fabulous icon for new parents.

Kate Middleton is our definition of a fierce parent. She has chosen the same care providers for each birth she has had, as she knows what she wants and can trust in the team she has if a birth does not go quite as planned. She respects tradition, but still has no problem setting boundaries so her family can have a normal life. She also makes decisions as they are right for her family without care for anyone else’s thoughts, and we even read lately that she recycled her daughter’s old baby outfit for Prince Louis' first official photos. We also cheer her on for seemingly having so much support in her life and seemingly having such a grasp on the needs of her and her family. Way to go, Kate!

However, the duchess doesn’t seemingly have the perfect fairytale story. The media loves to portray things in a way that grab our attention, and we know that this past pregnancy the news came out a little earlier than the duchess wanted due to her severe morning sickness, also known as hyperemesis gravidarum. While we deeply feel for Kate, as we know this condition is never easy, it is a display to us of her humanness. No matter who we are looking at, every parent struggles along the way, and even in the light of the media, Kate handled her struggles with grace and overcame them. As doulas, we can understand the recognition this deserves, as we pride ourselves on getting to play the part of the
support person and watch parents do this every day.

And so our message today to our readers and parents out there is this: While we can’t grant you the title of duchess or duke, we hope you can knight yourself with the support you deserve and march to the beat that is right for you and your baby, just like one of our favorite parenting icons!


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​It's everywhere these days. No matter what we do in our lives, we are bound to be judged. Sometimes the judgment is blatant criticism. Other times it's a passive aggressive "Well I personally wouldn't ____ because ______." But no matter what, there is almost no denying that parents are one of the most common victims to judgment nowadays. 

Breast-feeding, bottle-feeding, medicated birth, unmedicated birth, whether to circumcise or not, whether to let baby make their own schedule or sleep train. As if it isn't hard enough to come up with a decision we feel comfortable with, we now have the added layer of worrying about what other people are going to say. 

We hate judgment....it feels downright awful to be judged. Why is this? Because when another person judges us, it causes us to feel isolated. As human beings, we crave support and acceptance. However, sometimes we may also catch ourselves easily judging others. Sometimes we really do mean well, and it just comes out the wrong way. But that doesn't excuse it, and becoming nonjudgmental is something we can all strive to do in our everyday lives. This is important because when we free ourselves of judging others, we also open up space for people to come in who will respect us and not judge in return.

So how do we go about this? Here are four fool-proof steps to make your life a little more positive! 

Stop using the word "should." 

It seems like such a harmless word, right? But the truth is, when we tell someone what they should do, we are isolating one decision as better than the rest. We are asserting ourselves as more capable and knowledgeable, and in turn, telling people what to do with their lives. If a friend asks for some advice, by all means, throw out some options, but the word "should" immediately locks the other person into the judgment dungeon, and none of us wants to be there! 

Acknowledge your inner judgment demon.

Have you ever caught yourself offering someone nonjudgmental support and being kind, but then going home and venting to another person because the voice in your head tells you that their decision is just wrong? It's totally okay! The judgment demon is a powerful one. It is so important to become aware of this demon. You may never be able to get rid of this inner voice, but being able to label your inner thoughts as judgments will often help them stay on the inside, which is where we want them to remain.

Realize that every life is different.

So you've become aware of your judgment demon. The next step? Evict that tenant! He's taking up space in your head and not paying rent. When we become aware that our thoughts are in fact judgments, we can dismiss them very easily. When we see the need for someone doing something differently than us, and develop empathy, it can often be helpful in realizing that sometimes other lifestyles just call for different choices. We then realize, that others aren't making decisions to hurt themselves, they are simply doing what was best for them at that given time in their lives. After thinking about it, we can realize that people don't want to do things that are "wrong." It is all about perception, and especially as parents, we should never have to justify why we do what we do. 

Free yourself out of the bubble.

After you have accomplished these first three steps, you will come to realize that it actually feels nice to not judge anyone. You can use that space in your brain to think about something else. The amount of friends that can be made is endless, because suddenly, what others do with their lives doesn't matter quite as much as what kind of people they are and how they make you feel. The judgment bubble is a difficult one to burst out of, but those of us in recovery, have not looked back. The world is so much brighter on the outside, where we don't have to put seriously thought into the fact that others "should" be doing the same as us. Even moreso, we can even agree with differing opinions and be happy the others are happy without having to debate or fact-bomb.

Looking for some nonjudgmental support in your life? The birth and postpartum period is the perfect time for this! Give us a call at 518-712-9767 for your free consultation, where you can see just how well we can support you and your family through a period of time where absolutely no one should be judging anyone!



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You read it right! Let's talk about sex...after baby.

One of the most frequent questions we see among facebook groups are the moms asking about when it is okay to have sex again after a baby. Sure, your provider likely gave you the go ahead at your six week checkup, but what if things don't really feel quite back to normal yet? Does that mean there's a problem?

Often, the answer is no. There are so many factors that can come into play that may make you not feel so great about being intimate with your partner just yet. 

If breastfeeding, often dryness due to low estrogen can be an issue. A good lubricant can fix this, however be sure to use a water based lubricant if you are using barrier birth control methods, like condoms or diaphragms, as the oil based lubricants can break them down. 

The truth is, while six weeks tends to be the standard for when women are given the go-ahead, many may not be ready, and you may even be surprised by the frequency this happens. Many parents we have asked, have reported waiting months before having sex again. Yet, there are some parents who reported feeling ready before the six week visit to the provider even occurred. The only guarantee about sex after baby is that everyone feels differently. Sometimes it's a matter of feeling like ourselves again after stitches, and sometimes it can be a bit more mental. We often forget that no matter how we delivered, our bodies endured quite a lot, and we should give them some understanding. 

This may be difficult when we have a partner who is very much ready to get back down to business, but during this period of healing, understanding is very much key. It is important to not have sex until you are ready, and to allow yourself to go slow the first time, and stop if anything doesn't feel quite right. Communication between partners is an absolute necessity to building the trust and getting back to normal. In the mean time, it may be difficult, but reassure your partner that there are other ways to feel intimate and close to each other.

If you truly feel in doubt about your healing and whether or not you feel ready to become intimate with your partner, we always suggest a call and/or visit to your provider.  This is the only way to be 100% sure, as healing and readiness truly are on a case by case basis.

That's right, here at New York Baby Co. we believe that grandparents are an important part of the journey and we want to help them be as confident and fierce in their role as you are. Think of us as the liaisons between the two generations. It is never your job as parents to explain anything to the new grandparents, however, we can't blame them for having the well meaning desire to do what is best for their grand baby. Let us take care of the explaining so you can focus your energy on your baby and your journey.

In the grandparents class, we will discuss how babies were raised back in the day and give grandparents the safe space to talk about their individual journeys. We will hear and nurture them, much like we do for you in your new parenting journey. Giving them the space to do this with us can, many times, minimize the chance that they will be doing this with you when you have enough going on in your head. Sometimes, our parents just want to feel validated that they did a great job with us, and we are here to give that to them! 

After talking about their side of the story, we will fill them in on generational differences. For example, they are likely not to understand that your generation may be much more likely to show off the baby bump. By showing them all these differences, they may not understand completely, but they will be aware, and in turn, build a respect for the differences. We will display many of the ways regulations have changed, such as not putting baby on his/her belly to sleep anymore and why these changes are now in place. This way, we can have all the conversations with them so you won't have to do so in the heat of an exhausted morning after being up all night with your little one.

As always, our main goal is nonjudgmental support and you can rest assured that we will not take sides with either generation! We will merely serve to show ways for each generation to understand each other better. No approach or method is silly in our minds. However, we believe that all parents deserve to run their family confidently and in peace, and we want to do everything we can to help make this a reality in your household, while still giving the grandparents the golden moment they deserve.

Want to hear more about this fantastic class?  Visit our education page here or give us a call at 518-712-9767.


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At The NY Baby Co. we are true believers in FIERCE parenting! We want all of our parents to walk in the direction of confidence, fueled only by those who are going to contribute positively to their journey. While a doula serves to support, the ultimate goal is to nurture the family in a way that they will be able to function independently and no longer need the additional support. We will enter the scene with nothing but love and acceptance while gently guiding you where your instincts and values want to go, and by the time we leave, we hope to see you standing taller, knowing that while you can call us again for our services anytime, you've got this! 

So what are the signs of a fierce parent? We are so glad you asked! Here are our three biggest takeaways that make a parent truly fierce.

Confidence in Decisions

You have Friend A telling you something different from Friend B, while your mother tells you that back in her day none of this was an issue and people are so uptight. What is a parent to do? While it can be easy to get frustrated and overwhelmed by all of the tension surrounding what you do with your baby, a fierce parent will smile, thank everyone for their opinion and move along. Trusting instincts is key. You know how to pick a great care provider and you know in your heart what your baby needs. It seems that even when you display this kind of confidence, people will chime in and have something to say, but that's okay, because a fierce parent knows how to move along with class, while continuing to do what is best for their family. 

Self Care, NO Apologies. 

It seems to be a tale as old as time that the terms parent and martyr go hand in hand. The self sacrificing person with every hair out of place and no time to themselves always seems to get the most praise. However, what is not pictured, is this same self sacrificing person burning out and melting down. No one wants another person to feel this way! This is why fierce parents know that when it's time to focus on themselves, it must be made a priority. It could be as simple as watching the newest episode of "Stranger Things" or as extravagant as buying yourself a hotel room for the night and enjoying not being touched...by anyone. Fierce is worn differently by everyone, but the importance is in how it makes you feel. It is fact that only when you are cared for, will you be able to give caring for someone else your absolute all.

Never Lose your Charm!

A fierce parent knows that they are still the person they were before they had a baby. Becoming a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly joining the club of one size fits all. It just means, you have another hat to wear. Do you love to paint? Like travel? Like going on for a night of dancing? KEEP DOING IT! Keep being you and keep shining. Our children love nothing more than to see that their parents are people with a passion and zest for life. Never forget the biggest lesson in this: fierce parents make fierce kids! If we want our children to know that they are free to be who they are, we have to show them that having them never erased who we were. And though they might give you a few eye rolls in their teen years, we can almost promise they will turn around to love you for it!

Does this all sound impossible? Not to worry! It can be a tall order for families with a new baby to truly get comfortable with the idea of being fierce. That is why doulas can make a huge difference in your journey. We will help you navigate this crazy road and validate you when others won't. Fierce doesn't only belong to a few.  It can belong to anyone.  And it is YOURS for the taking!