I is for Intimacy

You read it right! Let's talk about sex...after baby.

One of the most frequent questions we see among facebook groups are the moms asking about when it is okay to have sex again after a baby. Sure, your provider likely gave you the go ahead at your six week checkup, but what if things don't really feel quite back to normal yet? Does that mean there's a problem?

Often, the answer is no. There are so many factors that can come into play that may make you not feel so great about being intimate with your partner just yet. 

If breastfeeding, often dryness due to low estrogen can be an issue. A good lubricant can fix this, however be sure to use a water based lubricant if you are using barrier birth control methods, like condoms or diaphragms, as the oil based lubricants can break them down. 

The truth is, while six weeks tends to be the standard for when women are given the go-ahead, many may not be ready, and you may even be surprised by the frequency this happens. Many parents we have asked, have reported waiting months before having sex again. Yet, there are some parents who reported feeling ready before the six week visit to the provider even occurred. The only guarantee about sex after baby is that everyone feels differently. Sometimes it's a matter of feeling like ourselves again after stitches, and sometimes it can be a bit more mental. We often forget that no matter how we delivered, our bodies endured quite a lot, and we should give them some understanding. 

This may be difficult when we have a partner who is very much ready to get back down to business, but during this period of healing, understanding is very much key. It is important to not have sex until you are ready, and to allow yourself to go slow the first time, and stop if anything doesn't feel quite right. Communication between partners is an absolute necessity to building the trust and getting back to normal. In the mean time, it may be difficult, but reassure your partner that there are other ways to feel intimate and close to each other.

If you truly feel in doubt about your healing and whether or not you feel ready to become intimate with your partner, we always suggest a call and/or visit to your provider.  This is the only way to be 100% sure, as healing and readiness truly are on a case by case basis.